Yet Another Boring Article About the World's Most Hyped-Up Trend

Like millions throughout the world I have been sucked writing yet another boring article that venerates the almighty Puke-a-Mon Go.

The web has been ‘paraflinched’ with articles lauding how the game targets ‘millennial’ aged zombies who can play what I have rebranded as Puke-a-Mon Go whilst walking aimlessly across lanes of traffic.

In addition to brand sponsorship opportunities (read below) Puke-a-Mon Go boosts profitable in-game purchases. (Euromonitor International projects the 2016 global mobile in-game purchase market to grow some twenty per cent, reaching $29.8bn/£22.5bn).

Planet Earth – 7bn people – gotta catch ’em all

Puke-a-Mon Go quickly clocked up in excess of 30 million downloads. (At its peak, Candy Crush drew an audience of 20 million users).

Daily active Android users overtook Tinder. Two weeks after launch Twitter reported 30.7 million 'P-a-M Go' mentions from over seven million unique users. (Source: Spredfast Intelligence).

Even accounting for Hilary Clinton Donald Trump officially accepting the nomination as candidates for the presidency of the USA, at the time of writing, Google Trends reported the term Pokemon out-voted both.

The biggest mobile game in U.S. history

Servers crashed as it launched in 26 countries and unleashed Pukemon Zombies onto the streets.

As of Monday, July 11th, the game saw about 21 million daily active users, according to Survey Monkey. In terms of daily users, it is currently biggest mobile game in U.S. history. For comparison, at its peak Candy Crush reportedly had about 20 million daily active users in the United States.

Daily active Android users overtook Tinder. Two weeks after launch Twitter reported 30.7 million 'P-a-M Go' mentions from over seven million unique users. (Source: Spredfast Intelligence).

Puke-a-Mon wins the white, black, left, right and latino vote

In its favour, assuming one is not run over by a car, killed falling through a manhole, injured walking into a post /through a window or smashed in the face for inadvertently stepping into a heated argument between a couple of EU referendum Remainers and BritExiters, playing the game every day for one week could have health benefits as doing so would burn 1,500 calories for women or 1,800 calories for men.

Selling the Dream to Cash-Starved Brands

In between surreptitiously checking Facebook updates during weekly briefings, brand marketers are hurling virtual bowling bowls at each other in the battle to adopt so called, ‘Pukestop’ locations.

Titanatic (the renamed company behind the game) is selling ‘sponsored locations’ with options including in-game points exchangeable for real-world rewards.

Media buyers are celebrating how through removing challenges faced by the average person’s growing incapacity to tackle reading, Puke-a-Mon Go even addresses traditional display advertising pain-points.

Puke-a-Mon Go also encourages brand engagement; driving people into store or owned locations for ‘interactions’ in return for £5 ($6.55) off future purchases (time limitations apply) on goods valued over £50 ($65.50).

Thanks to Geo-location tagging, brands can increase customer virtual experiences at special events whilst at the same time, decreasing redundant human sensory involvement such as 'taking in' ambient sounds, sights and smells.

With Puke-a-Mon Go, fast-food chains can feature special catch and eat a Charizard burger meal for kids.

(In Japan, the famed ‘Yellow Slipped Arches’ burger chain claims approximately 400 of its 2,900 restaurants are (ironically) designated "gyms" where players can battle on smart devices. Two thousand five hundred restaurants have so far been designated as ‘Pukestops’. Here players collect ‘Puke Balls’ and other vital items to enable continuous play before having to recharge smart phones.

Soft drinks brands are said to be looking at encouraging consumers to run in circuits catching creatures, so counteracting any sugar intake.

I choose you!

Future brand historians may well recognise Puke-a-Mon Go as the first of a new breed of virtual gaming/branding platforms. Perhaps where Second Life failed, perhaps this game will succeed.

Rumoured new iterations are already in the pipeline for regeneration of classics such as Grand Theft Auto. It is thought the improved version virtual game could lower both theft and insurance premiums as felons run around the Hood stealing virtual, rather than physical vehicles.

Even more exciting is the prospect of multi-cultural high street shopping. Friends across the world (for example London and Madrid) are expected to strap on VR eyemasks whilst experientially shopping ‘together’ in real virtual time, comparing items at regionally distinctive local stores such as Zara or H&M. Equally, economically squeezed middle classes may strap on VR masks whilst sharing shopping experiences with friends across the world at local delicacy stockists like Lidl or Aldi.

Pikachu rumoured to come from line Hollywood icons

(Jonathan Gabay is not responsible for personal injuries resulting from any engagement taken by the above brand uses of Puke-a-Mon or other virtual gaming provider).

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